Saturday 8 February 2014

Kids Are Rude.

Kids are rude.
I never really noticed, but now that I have my own it seems glaringly obvious.  Maybe there's some of you who still haven't seen past the chubby cheeks and wondrous, big eyes full of CUTE that veil their barbed comments.  It's like kissing a 5 o'clock shadow.  You can ignore the spiky bits, because they look cute.

An example of rudeness:
Dinner.  I create a meal that is nothing short of a culinary triumph.  My husband's impressed, and I'm feeling pretty chuffed when my kids suddenly realise that it contains neither ketchup nor nutella.  They express their disappointment the only way they know how:
7 yr old - *whimper* "I think this is making me sick." *whimper* "Do I have to eat it all to get dessert?"
2 yr old - "Eww. 'Gusting."

Sometimes they compare my butt to the size of a house, or when I say "Good morning" they pretend to choke while announcing that I have the smelliest breath EVER.  In hindsight, it can be endearing.  It's that whole "out of the mouths of babes" thing.  At the time though, I usually serve back something about how "If you can't say something nice..." with a side of guilt trip. Then I immediately feel foolish because surely any other parent would have seen the funny side, had a little chuckle and facebooked the hilarity.  After all, kids being rude = comedy gold.  I mean, who gets offended by a toddler?

Well, me.
I think to myself, "I never said stuff like that as a kid!".... WRONG. Of course I did. And if I'm honest, I'm still saying stuff like that - that's where they learn it!  I get defensive and sarcastic and make poor choices about what to say.  And thus the cycle begins.  They speak rudely -> I react rudely -> they copy me, and around we go again. 

I've been expecting my kids to behave like adults, while I behave like a kid!  But they aren't adults.  They get frustrated like adults, and can manipulate like adults do, but they also have limited language and can't measure the impact of their words.  They haven't learned how to phrase things "nicely", just like they haven't figured out that sticking your hand down your pants in public to itch your bum is frowned upon (not all adults have that down either, mind you).

My kids just aren't on the same wavelength as me.  Trying to resolve conflict by way of rational conversation is futile. 

They say things that don't make sense. "You can't brush my hair, I'm allergic!"
They change rules. "Well, actually it's the first person with NO money that wins monopoly." 
They have no concept of time. "Last week, when I was a baby, I used to live in your tummy."

Sometimes all at once:
"I haven't been to McDonalds for 10 yeeeaaars." 
"We were there a week ago." 
"10 years IS a week." 
"No, it isn't. It's 7 days."
"Not to me!"


Argh.  Then, just when I'm at the point of tearing my hair out, but somehow manage to restrain myself and calmly talk it out, they'll say something like,
"Can you please stop talking now?  My ears are hurting."

I just might combust.


Oh, by the way.. this is not the sort of post where I write about a problem and then produce a pearl of wisdom at the end that everyone can apply to their own lives. Sorry :P  This is more of a "I'm a loony, come and read about my lunacy and relate to it so we can all have a laugh" kind of post.

I guess I just want to reassure other mums who are thinking, "Why are my kids SO RUDE? I didn't raise them this way!!!".  It's me saying: Relax. Your kids ARE rude. But so are mine, and I suspect everyone elses too.  Realising this has really helped me to think twice before flying off the handle, and remember what it is to be a kid.  After all, their ill-timed, ill-worded retorts are fuelled by the same ignorance and imagination that sources their finest moments.

They can make fun out of almost any situation.
They really do say the darndest things, and those conversation snippets get me loads of facebook likes. ;)
They give compliments for things no one else in the world would think of complimenting.
They show frequent and uninhibited public displays of affection <3

Come to think of it, in some ways, I hope my kids NEVER behave like adults. 


Saturday 1 February 2014

Just Plain Fun

Today I slept in. Then I rolled out of bed, skipped lunch (that's right, lunch), ignored my schedule, and hopped straight on the computer to do a little gaming with my husband.. just 'cos.  Hours went by and when we finally emerged I realised it was now too late for any of my plans.  Today I was supposed to wash the quilts and take the kids fishing, among other things.  I didn't even have the things I needed for dinner!  I felt the weight of defeat.

How did this happen?  Why didn't I follow the plan?  Well, because I was tired.  Probably from all my plans about making plans and planning to stick to said plans. Ugh.

I gotta say - it was so nice to sleep in!  It was awesome to sit down and do something normal and effortless with my husband.  And the kids?  Well, they played.  Not always fairly, friendly or quietly... but individually and together; sometimes with toys and sometimes with nothing but air. 

Without a plan.

So, I don't feel bad about today.  I loved seeing the kids make their own fun, by themselves, without anything or anyone new around.  I loved just hanging at home with my family, doing our own thing. I am reminded that without days like this, I won't have the energy for those other days of excitement and adventure.  Today was just plain fun.  Sure, the quilts aren't done.. but big whoop.  They aren't going to disintegrate before tomorrow.